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Based On Your Answers You Show...
Very High Levels of People Pleasing.
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You’ve spent so much of your life focused on keeping others happy. Whether it’s at work, in friendships, in relationships, or even with strangers, making sure everyone else is comfortable has become your default. You know how to read a room. You anticipate what people need before they even ask. You’re the one who smooths over tension, agrees to things you don’t really want to do, and avoids conflict whenever possible—because keeping the peace has always felt easier than speaking up.
People-pleasing didn’t come out of nowhere—it’s something you learned. At some point, being easygoing, agreeable, or the “dependable one” felt like the safest option. Maybe as a child, you learned that speaking up led to tension or that staying quiet meant avoiding trouble. Maybe in past relationships, putting yourself last felt like the only way to be loved or accepted. Maybe in your job, you realised that working harder, staying late, and taking on extra tasks earned you praise—so you learned to overextend yourself, even at your own expense.
Over time, pleasing others became second nature—so much so that putting yourself first now feels unnatural, uncomfortable, or even wrong. The thought of letting someone down makes your stomach drop. The idea of saying no feels selfish. And even when you do want to speak up, that little voice in your head says, What if they get annoyed? What will they think of me? What if I upset them?
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The good news it that, this is a learned habit, and that means it can be unlearned. You don't have to stay stuck in this cycle of overthinking every decision, feeling guilty for putting yourself first, or worrying about how others will react. Instead, you could be making decisions with certainty, setting boundaries without guilt and trusting yourself completely.
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That version of you? She's already in there. It's time to bring her forward.
Right now, people-pleasing feels automatic—like something you do without thinking. But this isn’t just “who you are.” It’s a pattern, and patterns can be broken.
Below, you’ll find three powerful shifts designed to help you pause the automatic yes, challenge the guilt, and start making yourself a priority. These aren’t about overhauling everything overnight—they’re about giving you real, doable steps to start reclaiming your space, your voice, and your energy right now.
Where to focus next?
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1. Practice Pausing Before Responding
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Your instinct is to agree automatically—to say yes, offer help, or soften your response before you even think about what you actually want. Slowing this process down is the first step in breaking the habit as it creates buffer time to make an aligned decision.
Try this: For the next 7 days, when someone asks for something, take a breath. Instead of answering right away, make a conscious effort to say, "Let me think about that and get back to you".
This tiny shift breaks the automatic yes and gives you time to check in with yourself. Even if you still end up agreeing, you’re making a conscious decision—not a reactive one.
One of the hardest parts of shifting people-pleasing is dealing with the guilt that follows. But guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it just means you’re doing something different.
Try this: Next time you feel guilty for saying no or speaking up, pause and ask yourself, Am I actually doing something wrong, or am I just uncomfortable because this is new?
Learning to sit with discomfort is how you retrain your brain to stop seeing people-pleasing as the “right” thing to do.
2. Challenge the Guilt Loops
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3. The "What do I want?" Challenge
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Right now, your focus is so wired to other people's need that when it comes to your own wants, your mind draws a blank. But this isn't because you don't have preferences - it's just that they've been buried under years of prioritising others. It's time to change that.
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Try this: For the next 7 days, before making any decision (big or small), pause and ask yourself: If no one else's needs or opinions mattered right now, what would I want or do?
Do this for everything: what to eat, what to watch, how to spend your time. Start writing down your answers. You don't need to act on all of them yet - the first step is just recognising that your wants exist.
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You already know people-pleasiong is running the show, but here's the truth: trying harder won't fix it. You can't break this cycle by just telling yourself to be more confident or by reading another self-development book - you need real, personalised support to unlearn the habits that have kept you stuck.
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Because those patterns won't just shift on their own.
This is exactly why Unstoppable 2.0, my signature 1: coaching programme exists. It's where we break down people pleasing so you can:
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• Set boundaries without guilt or over-explaining or second-guessing
• Speak up with confidence (even when it feels scary)
• Say no with confidence and without needing an excuse​
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Stop overworking, overthinking and over-apologising
• Start living life for yourself—not for others
This isn't just about knowing what to do- it's about having the support to actually do it.
This is the shift that changes everything.
Book a free 30-minute breakthrough call below, and we’ll map out your next steps towards a life where your needs, voice, and boundaries come first—with clarity, calm and unstoppable confidence.